Lubricated Genitals (jk, listicle enclosed) - Sat Mar 29, 1995
12 Steps to Get Amped!
There’s nothing funny about depleting sass as we age. Moody vibes. Knights in White A rotten egg ready to hatch open and birth more nefarious actors. Nobody chills that hard on a soggy Tuesday. Life isn’t a funeral, and you’re not a witch any more. I know what you’re thinking, “Gonzo sucks and all this Muppet shit is probably just nostalgia from, like, the boomers, right?” Sure, but that’s not what we’re talking about. We’re talking about clearing your roadmap to enable dense ’tude NRG. We’re talkinfg about:
GETTING AMPED
So, how do we do that? I hope you don’t mind that I used “we” just now. You and I? Well, I’d say we’re more than just sacks of skin & bones looking to “demolish nut after nut” until doors open in Heaven! You need me, I need you, Bono needs The Edge, Ernie needs Bert. Me? Well, I need about 113g of Axe’s Apollo Body Spray. It’s as simple as that.
BTW, I'm injecting some sex stuff in here because our new intern Cammy says that it "quote",
"conjures feelings of contageous adult horseplay without spilling a drop". Think of it as a web space. Just like the world wide wib that we already have, and yes, there's a chance we'll end up spider eggs kinda clustering or whatever, but we will figure that kinda stuff out if/when it happens, and it probably won't. We'll keep things safe for work for the most part, but Cammy insists on making sure we're using contageous 'gasm. Find your Provocative right now at www.devil.im and join in on something for once!
You sound a bit manic, should I come back another time?
- No. 📌
- Did you know that I have over 400 spider eggs inside of my colon? Mama Mia!
_
The Why:
A listicle is an article an a list, & I’m surprised and delighted at the armada of terms, dongles & peripherals that Provocative Perspectives’ new intern, Camille (Cammy) is unlocking for our US-East and US-West teams. From acting as liason to seperated peers, to powering tomorrow’s FTP servers, Cammy is literally hilarious. It’s so funny how you’ll be working one moment, and laughing the next and you look behind you, and maybe you don’t see Cammy or maybe you do. Either way.
Wait, we’re moving the needle? (Scoffs and dons wrap-around shades)
That moved yesterday, Van Winkle - we’re going to Mars!
Cammy, of course, is from Garamel Winslow’s dimension, and I won’t cover that again, as I know most of you were here for yesterday’s deepdive with Tex.
RIGHT! So, it’s helping the team loosen up a bit, and don’t worry, nobody has unloaded their insidious seed in your smoothie, Graham. After all, you wrote your name on it! :)
Ok, I feel like we moved the needle just now, and I’m going to post an image and get this listicle stared. 3D Infant. Since it’s 1994, I’ll use the internet to do Just That!
The Iris of God’s Eye isn’t Too Far Anymore (Finally!💄)
12 WAYS TO GET AMPED:
- ☔ Axe Apollo Body Spray: 113g of pure sex appeal in a bottle.
- ☔ Johnathon Depp’s Charisma: He’s got it, and you can’t deny the man’s charm.
- ☔ 90s Nostalgia: Remember when life was simpler? When grunge ruled the airwaves?
- ☔ Fleshlight Grinch: Because why not?
- ☔ Axe Body Sprays in General: They’re like a shot of pure, unadulterated sex appeal straight to your junk.
- ☔ Johnathon Depp’s Early 90s Hairdo: It was the epitome of cool back then.
- ☔ The Internet: Because without it, we wouldn’t have Cammy or this article.
- ☔ Axe’s Apollo Body Spray in a 3D-Printed Fleshlight Grinch: Why not?
- ☔ Fleshlights in General: They’re like having sex with your favorite cartoon character… minus the cartoon part.
- ☔ 90s TV Shows Like ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’ and ‘Saved by the Bell’: Remember when life was easy, and all you had to worry about was what girl you’d ask out to prom?
- ☔ Axe’s Apollo Body Spray in a 3D-Printed Johnathon Depp’s Head: Because why not?
- ☔ Fleshlights of Your Favorite Cartoons Characters: They’re like having sex with your childhood crush… minus the awkwardness and rejection.Thanks everybody.
- Brawth Tinker
