Piping Hot Shareware - Fri Jun 21, 1994
Welcome to the gates of Shareware Hell !!!
You are a hardened demon-thumper, you know all the secrets, you know all the sweet spots, you reign supreme in deathmatch. You bear your hard won scars as a badge of honor… you grow restless on your throne. You pop the AJ Soprano Software Hub CD into your CD-ROM drive… it inhales the disk with a possessed determination. You feel panic. Your anus clenches as if to close a door that was already shut. After cruising the disk with the lame CDGofer program that Tadley Chicken Processing inflicted on you, the dwarfing reality of cyberspace unfolds into your world. You feel small. The sheer weight of the missions ahead of you causes your bowels to twist in anxiety. But you are strong, you are keen of vision, you are in fact a little spooky sometimes. You stare stead- fast into the maw of raw cyberforce. You crank up a WAD at random and begin to play. The staggering vision of the creators looms before you and you think to yourself… cool. There are thousands of files on this CD-ROM, you will be here a long time… accept your fate and be dismayed. Don’t forget to show up at work or school once in a while, though.
Welcome to Tadley Chicken Processing and the AJ Soprano Software Hub_ Developers Network CD - Occurrence I: You may have mastered the game in it’s original form, but you now have an opportunity to attend the advanced academy and face some of the most devious and twisted minds on the planet, those of your fellow doom players. The technical skill and cyberspace community spirit of the coders at Stinkfanger Software, have given you the red-hot load. You will find here the tools you need to do just that. If you find yourself using these tools over and over please contribute, register the shareware, these authors are fellow human beings and have spent a lot of time creating the very things that bring you your twisted glory. Send them bags of money, they should be encouraged.
All of these cool wads, editors, and so on are located on Internet servers and on-line services that take a lot of time and money (we should know, we spent a lot of BOTH) to download and sort through, when you’d rather just be blasting demons. Well, you are in luck! The basement dwellers at Tadley Chicken Processing have spent countless hours amassing ALL the wads, editors, patches, sounds, weapons, and hint files that we could find anywhere in the known universe. More countless hours have been spent sorting and categorizing and cleaning these files so they can be found all in one place.
We have graciously provided you with this lame program which helps you to sort through all these thousands of files and choose your favorite method of enhancing those demon induced adrenaline rushes you’ve become accustomed to. If you just want a new opportunity for humiliation at the hands of ruthless fireball tossers… it’s here. If you want a new weapon (imagine that shotgun at twice its fire rate).. it’s here. If you want all the tools to build your own world from scratch (this probably WON’T impress your academic advisor)… they are here. Enjoy, register, and give back to the community with YOUR creations.
Welcome to Shareware Hell, and happy hunting!!!